Who's house?

I've dated before. I've raised my girls in the safety of being, at home. Keeping men at bay was easy. Letting them in isn't. Men have no authority in the house that I built. Women feel free in my space. Men are merely useful visitors. Single parenting doesn't get a do over. What happens when the worlds collide? What happens when the princess questions her authority, because a suitor addressed his fraility at her expense? What happens when the suitor fails to read her discomfort while persuing the Queen? 

Choice makes this scenario seem as easy as learning hopscotch. Public dating hasn't been my M.O. for over 10 years. The last 2 times were tragic. Both men have other children. Mine were younger. I learned how they parented girls. It was almost aligned with how I did things. Only one lived with me. It was brief. He never made them feel ashamed of thier bodies. The other has different standards. His daughter lived with him. He provided for her. She wore whatever she wanted. I never paid too much attention to what she wore, at home. I didn't care.

Without the gaze of patriarchy, how can I teach my child women aren't as free as they seem. Sometimes, we make choices to keep all of safe in the long run. Sometimes, our greater need for support makes us look at suitors for a how, not a why. I used to balk at a man telling me to put clothes on. I thought it was controlling. I didn't understand my role. 

I didn't explain to the suitor how I ran my queendom. He feels like he can treat the princesses like others. This looks like favoritism. It looks creepy. It doesn't look like he truly likes them. I didn't see it. I have concurrent agreements about safety. They don't talk to each other.

I feel horrible. My child doesn't feel supported. The suitor will feel defensibly defeated. He won't know what to do. Thing is, I don't plan to stop seeing him.