almost posted a video
lambasting lies like I'm not Judas
putting half of my dirty drawers
inside out
and pretending the stains are
transparent.
lambasting lies like I'm not Judas
putting half of my dirty drawers
inside out
and pretending the stains are
transparent.
I beg for honesty
when I can't find the space to tell my truth
I duck and dodge
bullet barrages
shirts torn open
and it's not a fad.
when I can't find the space to tell my truth
I duck and dodge
bullet barrages
shirts torn open
and it's not a fad.
Truth ain't as easy as it sounds
in a country where
scavenges trump
and trickery is something
we wish to obtain
even as we unlearn the lies
tears in our eyes
we still cling to the only dream
we were allowed
in a country where
scavenges trump
and trickery is something
we wish to obtain
even as we unlearn the lies
tears in our eyes
we still cling to the only dream
we were allowed
And that's what hurt
the shackled misinformation
pulling us back
into systems we didn't create
the shackled misinformation
pulling us back
into systems we didn't create
we are bi-products
procreating a piece of ourselves
some amalgamation
of erasure and demi-goddess
tattooed to a tshirt
we rock
b/c our lives
depend on these images
procreating a piece of ourselves
some amalgamation
of erasure and demi-goddess
tattooed to a tshirt
we rock
b/c our lives
depend on these images
I wonder if
we are more than we see
the invisible experience
when 2 are apart
or alone;
in homes
we decorate
our insecurities
mount our dreams on the walls
and wait for the doorbell
to ring;
public address
isn't public access
who lied to you?
we are more than we see
the invisible experience
when 2 are apart
or alone;
in homes
we decorate
our insecurities
mount our dreams on the walls
and wait for the doorbell
to ring;
public address
isn't public access
who lied to you?
You did.
You built trust on vacancy
big words
and hollow points
aimed at old wounds
aching fm alcohol
and self-denial.
You did.
You played poker
like spades
trump tight
instead of cutting your losses
and renigging.
You did.
I never claimed angel's wings
or a savior's snatch
but you gave me power
marianetted to your ego
tethered taffy
stretched beyond sweetness.
You did.
I mustered more dawns
and unslept nights
endured stacks of dead trees
just to sign away my life
so I could have it back again
broken
and disheveled.
You did.
You confused love with service
contracted me
infected me until
I needed to be treated like a cancer
radiating me
to shrink down to none
of what I used to be.
You did.
You slipped me a mickey
clouded me
until you tasted
bad enough to swallow
hollering burn
sliding down my throat
almost Arielled me,
but I didn't make a deal
with Ursula.
She gave birth to me
pushed me outta that
black magic
until I sang
myself fm sleep
and swam
beyond the fins
grew some feet
and checked
who's truth was worth
the sacrifice;
yours or mine?
I choose me
every time.
You built trust on vacancy
big words
and hollow points
aimed at old wounds
aching fm alcohol
and self-denial.
You did.
You played poker
like spades
trump tight
instead of cutting your losses
and renigging.
You did.
I never claimed angel's wings
or a savior's snatch
but you gave me power
marianetted to your ego
tethered taffy
stretched beyond sweetness.
You did.
I mustered more dawns
and unslept nights
endured stacks of dead trees
just to sign away my life
so I could have it back again
broken
and disheveled.
You did.
You confused love with service
contracted me
infected me until
I needed to be treated like a cancer
radiating me
to shrink down to none
of what I used to be.
You did.
You slipped me a mickey
clouded me
until you tasted
bad enough to swallow
hollering burn
sliding down my throat
almost Arielled me,
but I didn't make a deal
with Ursula.
She gave birth to me
pushed me outta that
black magic
until I sang
myself fm sleep
and swam
beyond the fins
grew some feet
and checked
who's truth was worth
the sacrifice;
yours or mine?
I choose me
every time.
©2016 Lavinia Jackson
